Wednesday, August 5, 2009

I realise that within 'my jokes' truth exists-

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to use sarcasm as a form of power/control

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to want others to see me as smart to cover up that I feel dumb/stupid/inferior

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to participate in thoughts, feelings, emotions & memories

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to see myself as dumb/ stupid/ inferior

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to judge myself as dumb/stupid/inferior

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to be hard on myself

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to want to appear to beings as perfect and within that I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to give my power away to an idea of what I have defined as perfection

who I really am as life is undefinable and not a system not perfect

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to use wit as a form of superiority to cover up how I actually experience myself as inferiority

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to use wit as a way to manipulate beings to divert the attention away from myself and my shit so they won't see my mind fuicks and point them out but rather feel bad about themselves

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to perfect manipulation

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to use manipulation as a tool

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to use manipulation as a form of slavery

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to play myself like a game

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to define myself as hilarious - hell-arious

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to not see that when beings laugh at my jokes that this is simply a reflection of systems laughing at me

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to kid myself

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to manipulate myself I forgive myself for not allowing myself to face myself

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to spite myself as otherselves
-BullShit

I do not allow or accept myself to hide who I am and what I have become
I do not accept or allow myself to try to attempt to preserve the personality designs I have created in self dishonesty and self interest and as a way to hide

I do not allow myself to fear what I have become
I do not allow myself to fear who I actually am
I allow myself to reveal myself to myself within and as self honesty within and as self forgiveness within and as self corrective action
Here as breath I remain -

I forgive myself for participating in duality

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to give my power away to polarity

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to seperate myself from myself

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to be indirect when speaking and giving my power away to CONclusions of the mind

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to have future projections of
CONclusions - I forgive myself for not allowing myself to remain here as breath

mySELF is my starting point as all as one as equal as life

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to access personalities of the mind to suite who I am with' according to how I have defined 'their' personalities and in this I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to manipulate beings and seperate myself from myself

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to limit myself to a personality

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to design a likable personality according to a definition of what likable is

I allow myself to express myself as who I am as life as self expression

I allow myself to be unconditional in mySELF expression

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to use thoughts as food to feed the mcs

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to use manipulation and stimulation as a form of "assistance" and in that I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to try to trigger thoughts in others to assist others in realizations - what a bullshit mind FuIck

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to be self dishonest

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to hold on to knowlege and information as a form of power as a form of stability

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to participate in the ego of the mcs

I allow myself to let go of knowlege and information
I do not allow myself to define myself as knowledge and information
I allow myself to breath
I allow myself to slow everything down
I allow myself to be here as breath as comfort

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to use humor as a form of suppression

I do not accept or allow myself to supress myself as humor

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to cover up pain with humor rather then face myself within as self honesty within and as self forgiveness within and as self corrective action

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to 'fall back' to humor as a form of safety
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to beLIEve I must be safe
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to define humor as safety

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to try to preserve myself as a system and not preserve mySELF

I forgive myself for not realising that within every thought I create - within every thought consequences will come and play out within space and time
I forgive myself for not allowing myself to realise the consequence of what I have accepted and allowed within and as the participation of thoughts, feelings, emotions

I do not accept or allow myself to give my power away to suppression as humor
I do not accept or allow myself to seek acceptance outside of me

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to seperate myself from self acceptance

I do not accept or allow myself to want others to be around me because I am funny
I do not accept or allow myself to fear being alone/all one

I allow myself to be gentle with myself

I allow myself to live here as breath as moment as simplicity as who I am of life

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to copy this joking, kidding, laughter from my mother

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to be irrigated with my mother when she does this

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to define her as my mother and to define me as her daughter

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to seperate myself from myself within and as relationships within and as the mother matrix within and as the family CONstruct

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to not realise that irritation is not who I am as life

I forgive myself for not realising that irritation is of systems