Pain 3

No, my dog did NOT eat my homework....

Neck, middle upper back and shoulders - Maybe it is my pillow - I doubt it.

My neck, upper back and shoulders have been hurting for a least two weeks and it hurts quite a bit but I wasn't giving it too much attention, I wasn't giving mySelf attention and then one day, I was agitated by the pain like 'fuck, How come I still have all this pain?' My neck back and shoulders have been bothering me and I haven't made a point to investigate why this is happening or how it relates to me in process nor did I look at Veno's Structural resonance documents that are always supportive and revealing.

I wasn't able to sleep - I remember now that I was having fear thoughts related to my grandmother dying. I've noticed a pattern of having occasional thoughts of people dying and worrying about the future. We are all going to die so I am not sure why I've been afraid of death or the death of others, these thoughts could be related to regret. I haven't my grandmother much lately because I have been stubborn regarding family in general I have been hiding and not taking self responsibility. I've been working on a mind construct on a family member and it has been a 'pain in the neck' so to speak and what happens when I work on it is that my eyes get extremely heavy it is like they want to shut, literally I feel them falling as if I have to go to sleep right then and there.

This is a clear indication that Mind Constructs are effective and supportive within revealing patterns and system manifestations for me to self forgive within and as self honesty and correct myself once and for all and never allow myself to participate in those points again because it is not what is best for all and does not support me - The mind consciousness system does not compute.

The other day I was working on a mind construct with my SRA buddy and I did not give it my all nor did I pay close attention to detail. (the dEVILs in the details) I changed something in my mind construct that we previously agreed would work best, such as placing points in certain, particular ways. I was finishing it up alone and I questioned myself whether or not I was doing it right 'but wait this sounds weird' although I ignored the point to further investigate and I did not take the time to properly complete my work. Glancing at it briefly I changed it to how I wanted it to be instead of how it should have been done.

When I met on chat with her she asked why I changed it, I had no excuse - I told her I do not know why. I did not apply myself entirely within the written work that was required to be done. I took a short cut and did not consider the implications of what I had done. I was actually happy with what I did until she told me it was incorrect and that I required to to it again on my own time. I was mad at myself because I knew what I had done and there was no one to point the finger at but myself. I did not tell her I was sorry even though I should have because I wasted her time, she seemed disappointed and kind of mad about it and it is understandable if she was, but I may have read her wrong. It was kind of like when I was young I would do something half heartedly and then get in trouble for it but back then I would blame the other person instead of taking responsibility for my irresponsible behavior and my accepted and allowed participation in the idea of being inferior to 'paper work/school work'

My buddy took time and effort to share pointers with me, tips and even gave me a full example over chat. My buddy is swamped with work and I am also busy so through me accepting and allowing self dishonesty and not taking an extra five to ten minutes to truly study and double check my work within and as specificity I wasted both of our time - with so much to be done we do not have time to waste.

I have also allowed myself to wait until the last day before SRA chat to complete my assignmentand I have also noticed doing it my way which is unacceptable and not what is best for all, no wonder is been so difficult for me to grasp - I was not sure what exactly I was resisting with regards to SRA work but it is like all of my programming and accepted and allowed self dishonesty is coming out in ways I could not fathom.

So I will use this as a supportive example of what NOT to do, here in this breath

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to create a failure of myself through accepting and allowing myself to believe the idea that I am inferior to book/school work.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to participate in polarity manifestations of the mind winner/failure - superior/inferior

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to waste the time of others because I was selfish and did not consider the consequence and outflow of doing things in an incomplete manner

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to immediately think thoughts of inferiority when my buddy told me I needed to do the assignment on my own

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to into sadness when she told me that and think about memories and try to in my mind justify why I accept limitation of and as myself

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing self manipulation

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to believe the idea that I won't ever be able to resolve my 'family' issues

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to think believe and perceive that I am inferior to anything that takes a lot of discipline

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to think, believe and perceieve that I am inferior to understanding

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to fear death

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to fear the death of relationships that I have formed through and as separation

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to fear the death of myself as personality and the personality I have created with regards to relationships, because I realize that if I no longer act according to how others expect me to act I won't be regarded the same way I always had

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to be spiteful through accepting and allowing myself to participate in limitation

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to abuse myself through accepting an idea of limitation to exist within and as me

I forgive myself for not accepting or allowing myself to take full responsibility for myself and the work that I do by and through completing my work within and as specificity every single time and not accepting anything less then who I really am and what I am capable of

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to use the idea of fear that my buddy is mad at me to go into inferiority

I forgive myself for not accepting and allowing myself to remain here and miss points because I was not present

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to do my SRA assignments my way and not the way that works and is best for all

If I experience resistance toward SRA assignments, I apply sf, simply breathe, drink water, speak self corrective statements and will myself to continue with my responsibility

I no longer accept or allow myself to exist as separation

I no longer accept or allow myself to give up and give in to the mind

I no longer accept or allow myself to manipulate myself

I no longer accept or allow myself to exist as limitation and fear

-I do not know if this at all relates to neck, shoulder or back pain but writing today opened up many points I required to face and correct and I am grateful for being able to write myself to freedom.

Pain 2

I have a sprained my right ankle, I sprained it the first time while I was in another state walking along a sidewalk and there was this huge crack in it and my shoes were too big, it was painful and I was scared because I was away from home and no doctor available, I sprained it again just as hard about half an hour later at a French restaurant in the restroom, I heard this women over the house speakers and she was giving lessons on how to speak French she was teaching the French word for 'agreement'.

I did a good job nursing my ankle back to 'health' and I was quite pleased with how well I did - and guess what? Two weeks after my first two injuries I tripped again on what seems like air and all over again it was swollen and hurting - damn it! wtf! What a klutz' I thought to myself and had an emotional reaction that of sadness and anger toward myself for not standing stable, for not being here and for accepting and allowing thoughts of limitation and fear. I was angry at myself for putting my body through this, and it was just starting to get better now its swollen and hurting again. I still have not gone to see a doctor, the last time I went to the doctor I went because my throat was hurting and I was told it was because I was not voicing myself, but instead of investigating why it was hurting exactly and taking responsibility for it I decided to go to the doctor and after she checked me she said 'Deedra nothing is wrong with you...' I was thinking WTF lady something IS wrong with me, my throat hurts like fuck. I said is there anything I can do she said it might be allergies but I dont even see any redness in your throat. I think she thought I was making it all up. So I decided to get self honest I started to look at my world and my participation and behavior and I wasn't saying out load when something came up that bothered me I would just hold it in and then believe that I had no right to speak up, so I began to just speak up more and stand up for myself because the pain in my throat was bad and I wanted it to end and it did.

I've been reading Veno's Structural Resonance documents on the desteni.co.za forum they are supportive now I require to support myself and walk the correction.

I will be regularly updating these blogs regarding my body because as I investigate and walk these it takes time.

Thanks for reading.

Pain 1

Ok so I'm here listening to the sound of copy machines in the background and guy next to me smacking his gum - my ankle is sore - I keep getting phone calls today that are hang ups or the the wrong number - what is up with that? - For a moment I thought someone was keeping tabs on me and then I laughed and realised I was tricking myself because I'm not that important lol!

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to believe that if someone was keeping tabs on me I would be considered important

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to think that someone may be out to get me

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to be paranoid

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to fear when I get multiple wrong number phone calls or hang ups that someone is up to no good

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to make something out to be more then it is - People calling with the wrong number or people just hanging up I don't have to create an idea about it or form a judgement

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to follow thoughts and make judgments or come up with ideas as to why I kept getting hang ups or wrong numbers

I forgive myself for not accepting or allowing myself to fear trusting others because I fear trusting myself

So, I have been experiencing quite a bit of pain throughout my body

I will list them for myself in order from first to last

right wrist and right elbow - simultaneously

right ankle, sprained 3 times

neck, upper shoulder, upper back - Simultaneously

left thumb

outer thighs, both sides - feel bruised

My thumb and ankle are the most prominent and consistent

I'm not sure if I have carpel tunnel syndrome or if I'm just worried I do because my mom had it:

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to fear the worst case scenario and assume I may in fact have carpel tunnel syndrome because my mom had it

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to fear that I will have all of the ailments that my parents have or have had

I forgive my self for accepting and allowing myself to fear that if I couldn't find a job with health insurance I won't be able to get surgery for my carpel tunnel, if that is what it is

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to have a starting point of and as fear

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to fear not having health insurance

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to fear not having access to health insurance and at the same time not move myself to do everything in my 'power' to make a better world for all no matter what it takes

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to limit myself to fear as an excuse to not stand up

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to be self dishonest and for make excuses

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to be spiteful

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to exist as ego and to allow and accept ego to have power over me

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to manipulate myself in an attempt to maintain a certain level of superiority in my world and control

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to fear losing control and to fear that if I can not control my environment that I will be put in a vulnerable position that I wont like

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to think, believe or perceive I can control anything or the future

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to fear vulnerability

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to fear being alone

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to fear depending on others

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to fear receiving unconditional support without giving something in return, thus I forgive myself for not standing equal to all and for considering myself equal and one to and as support

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to think that if someone supports me that I will be forever indebted

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing the separation of myself through accepting and allowing myself to go into morality

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to give value to anything considered moral because morality is based on polarity manifestations and not what is real in fact

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to fear letting go of morality because then I will be walking the unknown

I forgive myself for not accepting or allowing myself to stand equal to all that exists as me here

My right wrist and elbow hurt often and I notice it primarily after I've been typing for long periods of time, I also notice the pain when I go into the mind and become possessed by a point or when I've accepted and allowed myself to participate in self judgment- I have noticed the self judgement I experience is not as extensive as before and I do not give it attention but it is still comes up, I direct the point as myself and stop my participation through breathing and speaking self forgiveness and self corrective statements aloud.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to create self abusive thoughts

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to form a pattern of self abuse through accepting and allowing myself to judge myself

I forgive myself for not accepting or allowing myself to embrace and love myself unconditionally

I will stop here and continue the rest in my next blog. I had no clue this would be this long :)

Thanks for reading.

DIY Body System-Drilling

DIY Body System-Drilling

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nkD_xhp74nQ&feature=player_embedded

"Refuse To Remain Quite"

So I write... I have been slacking off on blogging - I was told that someone was reading my blog and ever since that day I subconsciously or unconsciously maybe stopped and I did not go into guilt about stopping either, I justified it by saying I was so busy and working very hard and making excuses as to why it wasn't necessary for me to blog and one day led to two and two to three and then five full days later I decided fuck I better get to it.

I read in on the desteni forum a post that Bernard made and it simply said - "refuse to remain quiet" and I reacted because I was doing just that, remaining quiet and then I looked at the point and thought to myself well shucks, I am busy and I don't have anything to speak about, even after reading that supportive post I still allowed myself to remain quiet for a few more days and then I made a "surfacy" blog yesterday just to put one out because I knew it was necessary -I have committed to writing daily and I am fully aware that I was fucking with myself through accepting and allowing limitation through listening to mind chatter and for accepting and allowing myself to be directed by thoughts.

I have heard of ghost writers but rarely ghost readers it's cool I'm grateful people read my blog and maybe I can be of some support through assisting and supporting myself to do what must be done, do what I say I will do and stick to my guns about it - stand up for myself in every moment of breath.

In my life I have perpetually allowed myself to give up and give in and and not take things seriously, not take myself seriously. I've been inclined to do things somewhat half heartedly, I just did - I do not really know why though - I don't know when this began but if I recall it was early on, I think at some point I became insecure and that was at a tender age. I do not know what caused this insecure / inferiority I experienced but it almost seems like its always been here, maybe I thought I was special and that for some strange reason I didn't have to and I usually used the excuse that I wasn't good enough or that I couldn't or tried to bullshit my way out of any type of commitment or responsibility, being in process I challenge all the programming I have existed as for my entire life and I suppose it's not so much of a challenge as it is a letting go of and directing myself and just changing and never accepting or allowing myself to look back or to fall back into old system designs because through applying self forgiveness I have realised these are just ideas that I have of myself and I can simply stop my participation. Keeping this 'entity' alive by thinking about why I am not good enough is self dishonesty. The other day in chat on the forum Kristina said "Push past the idea of yourself Deedra - Self trust" - in that moment I went inside myself like a curling up inside myself and I could hear the mind's back chat saying but, but no this is me though, you don't understand,,, I can't do what you guys do and then I realized if I were to accept that and spew out what the mind says then I would just be stuck within that same vicious cycle endlessly and I actually cried a bit as soon as she said that and thats a point of manipulation I have used in the past to get what I want or rather get out of doing things and in trying to prove that the limitations I have accepted and allowed for so long are indeed valid but it is self dishonest and so I just replied with I will do my best and I will fuck it. I will myself because I am a self willed EQUAL, I trust myself, I love myself, I accept myself unconditionally and I correct myself and stand and do what is best for all and I will not accept or allow limitations within and as me, it is unacceptable to make excuses for myself or to listen to the mind chatter because that has proven to be poisonous and I am the one accepting and allowing the poison to be created in the first place so I stop this behavior because I simply do not accept or allow myself to abuse myself. Til here no further.

Thanks Kristina I appreciate the support and assistance

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to remain quiet

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to slack off and justify why I have allowed limitation within and as me

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to think, believe and perceive that I am limited

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to care and worry about what other people think about me

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to be embarrassed about my writing ability

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to automatically assume that whoever reads my blog that is not in process will judge it, judge me

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to judge myself

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to participate in thinking and for creating and following thoughts of inferiority

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to believe my mind and to believe that I am inferior or too busy or have nothing to say

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to compare myself to others and then place myself as inferior, primarily I do this with women

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to compare myself to women and then go into inferiority because I have accepted the idea of myself as inferior

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to abuse myself through participating in the mind consciousness systems as thoughts, feelings, emotions, ideas, beliefs, polarities, secrets, back chat, fear, perceptions, and judgement.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing this idea to move direct and control me

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to give my power away to the idea that I am inferior

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing separation within and as me through existing as energy +/-

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to exist as superiority

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to be stuck as energy between both polarities inferiority/superiority because I was not willing to stand equal to all that exists as me here within and as breath

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to project superiority because I am attempting to cover up the experience of myself as inferiority

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing self compromise through accepting and allowing limitation with and as me and for existing in the mind as thoughts charged as either +/-

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to exist in the mind as thoughts and not live here within and as the physical but only as a system due to accepted and allowed participation in polarity manifestations of the mind

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to be self dishonest

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to react to what someone said to me

I forgive myself for not accepting or allowing myself to direct myself, move myself, write and share myself unconditionally as all as one as equal as life

I am here

Body Language - Body Movements

Now that I have been walking my process and I am here, I am aware of my human physical body and have noticed in my vlogs that my body movements are pre-programmed and not self expression equal and one.

I move my body almost exactly the same way my sibling and parents move. My facial expressions are especially similar to my siblings. Some of my body movements are exactly like my mom and others are exactly like my dads, now that I've written this out I also noticed that my mom and dads body movements are like their parents too. My cousins also move like their parents.

I talk with my hands a lot and I find this to be related to cultural programming. Another point is when I hear my own voice it sounds similar to my sibling, cousins and aunts. There have been times when I got my cousins voice mixed up over the phone or been confused about whether or not it was their mother I was speaking to because they all sounded so similar.

I was aware of my body movements and eye movements but not so much my facial expressions and hand movements - I have always been fascinated by body language - I enjoy dancing and physical work and when I heard at Desteni that even our body movements are pre-programmed it fascinated me and I could see for myself that yes this is true. So now when I dance I also notice that the way in which I move and have been moving this entire time was all pre-programmed and not self expression at all. I thought my dance moves were 'unique' LOL!

I wonder now though if say for instance a child is separated from their parents at birth if they would still move in the same way their parents do? I will also investigate this point.

The tonalities I use are also due to cultural programming - I hear the same tonalities in other people of the same race as me and what comes across is a soft, caring, motherly, almost inferior sound, like self sacrificing, overly nice it is high in the middle of a phrase for instance with some softness to it and drawn out at the end. I've heard this in both males and females with the same or similar background to my own.

Within viewing myself in vlogs I can tell that when I speak certain words that I have placed value on and limited to polarity +/- I make a particular face along with it and it is programming not actual self expression because self expression is not limited to polarity manifestations. An example is when I have a perception about something and speak about it I tend to squint my eyes and sometimes I notice my eyes get watery when I laugh or am expressing 'happiness'

I also enjoy watching videos about body language regarding how to present myself as assertive or in control in order to be more successful in business. I see now that there are ways we program each other simply by the way we move and sound. There are mulitiple mico-expressions that I am starting to take note of and now when I engage in conversations with people or make vlogs I am much more aware of my facial expressions and body in general.

This has been fun, interesting and fascinating to investigate and I will blog more on what I realize now that I am becoming more aware of myself as my body equal and one.

Oh one more thing, I have even noticed that this type of programming is existent in my cats haha, so animals are also pre-programmed to move in particular ways.

And no matter what country one is from or what language one speaks facial expressions are universal.

Self Awareness

Ok - I am here the sound of the air conditioner in the background and the sound of my fingers hitting the keyboard keys, I have nothing to talk about in particular well, today I read around in the Desteni.co.za website articles and man they are fascinating and interesting and many times when I read the articles I see the same within me and it is recognizable as if it is me that actually experienced the event or events because it is so similar or I have experienced the same in a different manifestation, we are all the same and equal to what we accept and allow and we do not realise our oneness and how our life's are all pretty much the same, different pictures, thoughts, feelings, emotions, judgments, opinions, ideas, beliefs, knowledge, information, some more extensive then others, some beings exist on one side of the polarity and some on the other and some seem to exist as both synonymously but most of all just about no one is ever here bringing all parts of self here as breath as all as one as equal. I experience shame and regret for my forgetfulness as spite and spiting another as forgetfulness with no regard at all for what others may experience because of my careless irresponsible so called 'human nature' I hear that word often when I talk openly about an equal monetary system. I hear "Oh Deedra please, that will not work it just won't work because it goes against human nature - Really? What is human nature anyway? - human and nature look as though they are oxymoron's because as humans we usually destroy nature and what is here as nature as ourselves as our human physical bodies what is here as this physical existence all are in, well most don't thats the point most do not experience nature and are too busy with the hustle and bustle of every day survival to experience the physical always in the mind thinking, plotting, planning, scamming, scheming, searching for new ways to get rich quick -never considering our neighbors just moving quickly, thinking quickly, reacting quickly, trying to have a quick wit to seem as though more intelligent or more evolved then the next, but in this we miss the point, we miss what is here, we miss ourselves, we miss life and we neglect ourselves as life we neglect what is here in and as this physical reality and sometimes we even just want to exist in the mind as thoughts, finding ways to move on to another dimension or so called heaven or even hell and some want to be enlightened and others seek death as if it will give them life some want to become martyrs and others priests but still in all this we miss something so important what is here within and as the physical our own human physical bodies and this is in part why we when I bring up equality and oneness and equal money I hear but, but, it's not our nature it's not human nature to consider another and that is the 'excuse' I hear most often - because of human nature equal money will never work. and my response is, No that is not true, I will not accept or allow this any longer, I am a human being in this human physical body and so are you and I know that we require to stand up for and as life and to do whatever it takes to create a new monetary system so that abuse can and will be avoided so that people and animals won't have to endure suffering for no reason other then we couldn't come up with an agreement that is best for all, because we keep on giving ourselves the excuse that its 'human nature' I am a human and my nature is here as me within and as the physical within and as breath as all as one as equal as life and my nature and will is to do what is best for all that is here as one with me - this is an excuse beings tend to say to accept limitation and to allow what is here when they arrived as the way things are and the way they will always be but I just do not agree if one has a look around one will see clearly that what we are busy co-creating is a mess and NOTHING and NO ONE will stop this for us, we must stand up and stop ourselves from creating a place that is brutal, abusive, angry, shameful, toxic, a place beings want to flee from to such an extent they can not even consider another and just keep their heads in a book or books or try to meditate and sit on a pillow imagining they are not here with people who are starving, people who are in physical pain, plants being killed, animals that are abused so extensively, people can not even bear to watch when videos are shown to them exposing the abuse that exists in this world people say turn that OFF or turn away I CAN NOT watch THAT! Turn that off your sick for looking at that well guess what THAT is what we are and have accepted and allowed THAT is what we need to see and man there are only a few times in most peoples lives that are reading this when they actually see the brutal nature of man in effect but it happens everyday right now as I write this blog, extensive pain is being felt and I am not referring to emotions or feelings I am referring to physical pain, people are loosing it and are becoming full on demonic. When will we stop? When will we change? What has to take place in order for beings to get the message that NO ONE is coming on a cloud NO ONE is waiting for us somewhere out there no one is looking out for us, NO ONE is accountable for beings. There is NO GOD there is NO GOD we fucked ourselves on our own we have limited ourselves so extensively can you even fucking believe it? This realisation does not require a belief system or a story this requires simply looking outside and seeing the condition of the earth the sky the air hearing the screams and moans of children and adults hearing the squeal of animals in pain because of our brutality and our disregard and our so called dominion over animals we have dominated animals and not taken care of them as one with ourselves we have not taken care of nature and we have not supported nature or animals we have not given a flying fuck about anything or anyone but ourselves we only give a fuck about ourselves and now we have this mess to face and we HAVE to fix it because it is simply the responsibly of each and every single one of "us". Before I found Desteni and heard the beings coming through the portal I was devastated because I realized prior to finding Desteni that their just might not be a god but I was not devastated because I was not being self responsible and I was causing abuse I was devastated because I believed a lie and I manipulated myself into believing it and I was the lie but I still did not give a fuck about another I was still stuck in this mind bubble that I believed was me was real and was valid but I was still shattered and befuddled because I had nothing to hold onto nothing was stable I was not stable and my beliefs could not stablize me because they crumbled at my feet, I had defined myself by my beliefs and now that I had no more to believe in I thought to myself I may as well die after all I thought I was useless and meaningless but after finding Desteni I realized that I was the one I had been looking for all my life, I was searching and searching as if my baby was lost within a huge amusement park, I searched high I searched low I searched love, I searched light, I searched mysticism, I searched strangers, I searched money, I searched men, I searched and I searched and I searched and I searched my entire existence was one long timelooped search and after all of that I realised I am here - OMG I am fucking here. I am the one I have been searching for and the shame and regret I experienced was immense and the fear I experienced was as well because I realised now that not only was i 'hurting' myself but my self dishonesty was hurting others my abuse toward myself was also creating an outflow of abuse and pain and even agony in this world, rape, violence, war, hunger, starvation, eating disorders, animal cruelty, blindness, deafness, Man.. I disregarded myself all along, I disregarded myself and all along I had people with me in agreement with me that my belief systems were real because they so much wanted to know as did I that there was some just reason why all the shit that manifests in this world happens for some 'unknown' reason beyond us. WOW! I can not believe I did this and the regret I had and still have is immense but with the tools that are available at Desteni I have supported myself and have forgiven myself and continue to take responsiblity for what I have accepted and allowed and self honesty is something else Desteni suggests SELF HONESTY no one else's honesty no morality no rules - simply breathing, writing, self forgiveness, self honesty and self corrective action to stop and change and no longer exist as a program walking a preprogrammed "life path" no longer accepting or allowing myself to be asleep no longer accepting or allowing the idea that someone died for my sins because it is my responsibility to do what is best for all - I am here - I am a self willed equal join us at Desteni and wake up before it is too late find out how to stop - It is time to pop a bubble.

Bubbles & The Theory of Everything PART I

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-Lvngrxip_0

Introduction to Desteni part 1 - DesteniProductions - Annotations added Dec 2010

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=m-AF-ujBtHY