Blog Address Change

Readers,

I have created a new blog using my own name. Please follow me on my other blog as well at http://deedrachavez.blogspot.com/

Thank you!

Equal Health Care for ALL

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ghYaFEVGqu8&feature=player_embedded

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to be frustrated with the health care system

I forgive myself or accepting and allowing myself to blame 'modern medicine' for pharmaceutical drugs that support the money system but not the our human physical body

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to think that is difficult to be a women because of menstruation, menopause, birth control, child birth and sexual harassment

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to be frustrated with how birth control works

I was at the Dr's office yesterday to see my gynecologist for an annual pap-smear. Prior to the actual check up she asked me a ton of 'personal questions' I told her everything, no-holds-barred, but when I shared this stuff with her I found myself trying to be 'professional' about my sex life lol! That did not go over well but she smiled big and quickly shook her head up and down like a bobble head.

I didn't plan on it, but I was very nervous the doctor was nice and all, but she also seemed a bit nervous too, I could be projecting here but she was talking quickly maybe she just felt my nervousness and it rubbed off on her, who knows?

I mean it's not a fun experience, first a strange person you hardly know gives you the 3rd degree about your sex life, tells you to strip down to your birthday suit, and to place your legs up on stirrups, feels your breasts for lumps, puts foreign objects and feels around in there for your uterus it's a bit painful and awkward. One thing she told me was that my cervix was in a weird place, so she moved it. I was thinking 'Oh fuck, what the hell, why is my cervix in a weird place, that little rascal, and she can even move it? Who knew? I asked her, 'is that strange?' 'Is there something wrong?' She said 'no most women have their cervix in different places, some are closer to the front of the body, some are closer to the back, some are even sideways, I was like sheesh goes to show how much I know about my own body. I was relieved nothing was wrong but when she moved it, it kind of hurt. I was going to ask her where mine was but I figured some things are better left unsaid.

She was talking to me about things that were 'off topic' the whole time. Maybe she was trying to get me to relax. I was like fuck I can't talk about my travel experiences at a time like this! I was thinking jeeze, this sucks, I just want this over with. I couldn't form a decent sentence, I can always tell when I'm nervous because I have trouble speaking effectively.

It is similar to being in a dentist chair with a mouth full of objects, drill, spit sucker, ect. and then the dentist asks a question that requires a long drawn out answer. It's like are you seriously asking me this question right now?

After it was all said and done we talked about birth control. She asked me how the Nuva Ring worked for me? I told her, it was not good at all and that I do not want to take birth control because last time I took it, I felt like I was slightly insane, I cried at the drop of a hat, I was restless, I could only sleep 3 hours max, I experienced racing thoughts, I become extremely angry, depressed, sad, I felt like hurting someone or myself, I blew up like a balloon, gained almost 30lbs and my body felt poisoned. The risks are extensive, I do not know what is in those pills/rings ect... and my body totally disagrees and rejects it.

She said 'some body's just does not work well with the pill.' We discussed the IUD called Mirena, it lasts for 5 years releases small amounts of hormone, can cause lighter periods and less cramping or I can use the old fashioned IUD lasts 10 years, has no medicine, which I prefer but then my periods will be heavier and worse cramps. Since I have not had a child, inserting the IUD is going to hurt quite a bit and when it comes to pain, my tolerance is pretty low.

Doesn't look like I have many real choices. I do not want to have children so I have to take responsibly for this point and direct it. I want to enjoy myself and explore self intimacy through sexual expression, but at what cost. For now I will stick with condoms. I am not opposed to having my tubes tied either but my Dr. strongly strongly urged I wait, but then again she was the same person who urged that I try the Nuva Ring and that it worked GREAT for her and also she said that she tried Mirena before she was pregnant and it worked great. I don't trust it

A friend gave me the name of a birth control that has worked well for her. I asked my doctor if I could try it and she said I can but with most birth controls it's about trial and error, and everyone's body is different. I get migraine headaches with aura, so that limits my options even more. In order to find the right pill my body has to go through hell and back. Why does it have to be so complicated. I still got a prescription for the one my friend suggested, just in case but I doubt I will use it. She said if you do decide to use your prescription, make sure to regularly check your blood pressure and call me if your blood pressure goes up or if you have any of these list of symptoms, so we can stop it immediately - that didn't sound encouraging. She said the downfall of this particular brand is I can have spotting in between periods. It just all sounds like a major hassle. And for my blood type birth control pills are in the (AVOID) section. So that was my experience.

I am grateful that I have access to healthcare and that I can see a doctor for regular check ups or if I become ill. Most of the time though doctors can only provide support that is topical and does not truly support the human physical body to heal a person. I am one of the few people in this world that is lucky enough to have a job that offers healthcare and the price I pay is still very high. Is healthcare truly effective the way it currently exists? I am not satisfied with the level of support we have tacitly agreed to with regards to healthcare and medicine. All including animals should have access to healthcare real healthCARE.

In an equal money system, profit won't be the driving force of healthcare and medicine and because of this things will be much different - we can find solutions that support our physical bodies within equality, simplicity and common sense. Let us stop supporting the fattening up of a few CEO's wallets, while the majority of people are either without healthcare, hooked on pharmacological drugs; that are priced outrageously, taking pills that do not heal but keep us stuck in cycles of illness ect., this is clearly not support. There are many points to consider with regards to healthcare but one thing I have realized is that what is happening now is NOT supportive to our body's - healthcare should be about real CARE doing what is best for ALL real care that supports the physical body and not a drug cartel dressed in white.

Let's Find a solution together and stop this non-sense we currently call 'healthcare'

WATCH THIS TOO!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=m1Cs8rmjUmg&feature=related

The Book - Equal Money System will Release September 2011 Subscribe to the book newsletter to receive a notification when it's available.

http://equalmoney.org/the-book a discussion with Bernard Poolman in the quest for universal equality for all life to have a world where all participants act in ways that is best for all life. The Equal Money system will be a first step in the political agenda of the Equal Life Party worldwide once we start participating in democratic elections. Join the Desteni Forum for discussions. Subscribe to be notified of publishment of the first Equal Money Book

Letting go of Ego and Forgiving Myself

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GVqBeXsGIcQ

I forgive myself for not accepting or allowing myself to write out thorough self forgiveness regarding food, chocolate, addictions and nail biting

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to feel empowered when I eat chocolate or ice cream because then I can get back at the "bad" ideas I have about it

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to try and fight the mind

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to believe I am greater than the mind rather then realizing that I have created myself in this way and I am responsible for my creation

I equalize myself to the mind and re-program myself to and as equality and oneness

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing the idea and judgement that chocolate and ice cream are good because they stimulate my taste buds

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing the idea and judgement that chocolate and ice cream are bad because it will make me fat and cause me to judge myself

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to stimulate the mind with sugar

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to judge foods as either good or bad

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to participate in polarity

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to be moved by thoughts and for not being self directive

I forgive myself for not accepting and allowing myself to apply myself as the principle of equality - what is best for all as a self willed equal here within and as breath

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to want, desire and believe I need stimulation

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to believe I require stimulation because of my perceived energy drop

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to believe I exist as energy

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to believe that who I am can be depleted

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to form this belief through participating in polarity manifestations thus constantly experience myself as up and down +/-

I forgive myself for not accepting and allowing myself to direct myself effectively

I forgive myself for not accepting or allowing myself to realise who I really am does not require stimulation thus I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to stimulate the mind

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to enslave myself to stimulation

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to separate myself from food

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to create loop holes and time loops purposely so that I won't have to change

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to fear changing and to fear letting go of personality designs, ideas, beliefs, perceptions and opinions I have formed about myself and have based my decisions on these judgments

I forgive myself for not accepting and allowing myself to push myself in every moment to do what must be done to be an effective individual

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to limit myself by resisting change

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to think I can control change

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to have judged others and say that - the more things change the more things stay the same

I forgive myself for not accepting and allowing myself to consider that I also exist as this construct through resisting self expansion

I will myself and direct myself here in self honesty to create myself in a way in which I would like to experience myself

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to fear what others think about me and fear peoples reactions

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to fear conflict

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to fear being hurt and yelled at

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to spite myself

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to obsess about weight, food and body image

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing self hatred

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing self deceit

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to find things to attach to and form a belief that I'm now addicted to these points in an attempt to escape from myself and my self responsibly

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to define myself as rebellious

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to not practically move myself in the physical and do all I can physically, practically in and as the system to change the system so that all can live for real here as equals - living as principle

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to give my power away to rebellion

I forgive myself for not accepting or allowing myself to see that by participating in the idea of rebellion I abdicate my self responsibility

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to blame others and the system and food instead of taking responsibility for what currently exists

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to imply through participating in rebellion and rebellious behavior that I am greater then the problems of this world when in fact I have participated and am equally responsible for what is here as this reality as this world as enslavement, as abuse, as separation, as fear, as ego, as self dishonesty

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to define rebellion and rebellious people as cool and attach a positive value to the word cool

I no longer accept or allow myself to abdicate my self responsibility

I no longer accept or allowing myself to participate in rebellion

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to say I love chocolate - even though the idea of love does not serve me - what is this thing love... this thing I have created as an idea is not real because real love is equality doing what is best for all loving thy neighbor as thyself giving to an other what I would like to receive this is love in practicality it is not the polarity of hate and so when I eat, I hate myself for it and so I am endlessly stuck within the polarity manifestation of love and hate / shame and regret / happiness and winning

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to think that I hate myself when I eat certain foods

I forgive my self for accepting and allowing myself to believe I win when I eat certain foods

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to make excuses why I can not stop sugar

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to form habits and patterns about food

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to think about becoming fat the whole time I eat sugary or savory foods

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to fear letting go of ideas I have about food

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to store memories about food and use food as a way to either reward or punish myself

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to spite myself

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing limitation by creating, and giving into thoughts and temptation

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to tempt myself with points

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to manipulate myself through temptation

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to eat in secret so that no one will judge me and so no one will catch on to me overindulging so that I can remain dishonest and have 'my way'

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to create a bubble called 'my way' where no one can enter and no one can burst it because its my apparent free choice and free will

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to have a choice

What is best for all 'equality' does not require choice - it is simple common sense 1 + 1 = 2

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to be embarrassed of myself for over indulging

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to have over indulged in food, sex, shopping, laziness, men, drugs etcetera and for not considering my fellow man

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to fear never eating chocolate or ice cream again

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to fear giving up sugar because that means I will also have to give up chocolate and ice cream

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to project onto others that they are judging me when I am the only person that is doing the judging

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing self judgement

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to obsess and become possessed about chocolate through continuous creation and participation in back-chat

Obsess / Obese - It is fascinating how I allowed myself to obsess about food then obsessively fear becoming obese - Coincidence? I doubt it.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to create back-chat about chocolate and ice cream

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to feel out of control when it comes to making decisions about food

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to judge every decision I make about food

I forgive myself for not accepting and allowing myself to hear my body and what my body wants rather then depending on my mind to make a decision

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to feel in control when I make a decision regarding what to eat based on how it will stimulate me

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to make a decision on food based on thoughts rather than listening to my body

I no longer accept or allow myself to eat food with the starting point of supporting the mind

I breathe - delete the thought / memory and eat food that my body is in agreement and alignment with as self support equal and one

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to be and become ego and stubbornness

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to consider the mind and not support the physical reality what is here in fact

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to use chocolate and ice cream to stimulate me

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to indulge in chocolate because I feel I deserve it

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to reward myself with food

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to manipulate myself by abusing food as a distraction away from self responsibility

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to be in my mind rather then here as breath

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to form a belief that I was addicted to chocolate

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to use chocolate to distract me from self responsibility

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to abuse food and chocolate because I have formed an idea around it that 'I can do what I want' thus implying free choice and free will

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to participate in choice as this implies separation

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to separate myself from myself through existing in the mind

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to bite my nails and hurt my finger tips

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing a cycle of self judgement to ensue - self judgement - bite nails - self judgement - shame - self judgement

I no longer accept or allow myself to abuse myself

I no longer accept or allow myself to use nail biting as a comfort/abuse response to self judgement

till here no further

I no longer accept or allow myself to judge myself if a thought of self judgement presents itself I will simple delete the thought and breath in self forgiveness and breath out self honesty

When eating if I have any reaction I will immediately delete the thought and speak self forgiveness for any polarity, ideas, judgments, opinions I have attached to the food and clear my starting point so that I will simply - eat food - with no thoughts, feelings or emotions - just simply eating as an expression of myself supporting my body as me equal and one

I breath

I am here

I support myself

I direct myself

I move myself

I will myself

I do what is best for all this is my will this is my stand.

I could not have done this without support and assistance - I am grateful - to get support and to support yourself see the link below.

http://www.desteniiprocess.com/

http://equalmoney.org/

http://desteni.co.za/

http://demonology.co.za/