I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to be frustrated with the health care system
I forgive myself or accepting and allowing myself to blame 'modern medicine' for pharmaceutical drugs that support the money system but not the our human physical body
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to think that is difficult to be a women because of menstruation, menopause, birth control, child birth and sexual harassment
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to be frustrated with how birth control works
I was at the Dr's office yesterday to see my gynecologist for an annual pap-smear. Prior to the actual check up she asked me a ton of 'personal questions' I told her everything, no-holds-barred, but when I shared this stuff with her I found myself trying to be 'professional' about my sex life lol! That did not go over well but she smiled big and quickly shook her head up and down like a bobble head.
I didn't plan on it, but I was very nervous the doctor was nice and all, but she also seemed a bit nervous too, I could be projecting here but she was talking quickly maybe she just felt my nervousness and it rubbed off on her, who knows?
I mean it's not a fun experience, first a strange person you hardly know gives you the 3rd degree about your sex life, tells you to strip down to your birthday suit, and to place your legs up on stirrups, feels your breasts for lumps, puts foreign objects and feels around in there for your uterus it's a bit painful and awkward. One thing she told me was that my cervix was in a weird place, so she moved it. I was thinking 'Oh fuck, what the hell, why is my cervix in a weird place, that little rascal, and she can even move it? Who knew? I asked her, 'is that strange?' 'Is there something wrong?' She said 'no most women have their cervix in different places, some are closer to the front of the body, some are closer to the back, some are even sideways, I was like sheesh goes to show how much I know about my own body. I was relieved nothing was wrong but when she moved it, it kind of hurt. I was going to ask her where mine was but I figured some things are better left unsaid.
She was talking to me about things that were 'off topic' the whole time. Maybe she was trying to get me to relax. I was like fuck I can't talk about my travel experiences at a time like this! I was thinking jeeze, this sucks, I just want this over with. I couldn't form a decent sentence, I can always tell when I'm nervous because I have trouble speaking effectively.
It is similar to being in a dentist chair with a mouth full of objects, drill, spit sucker, ect. and then the dentist asks a question that requires a long drawn out answer. It's like are you seriously asking me this question right now?
After it was all said and done we talked about birth control. She asked me how the Nuva Ring worked for me? I told her, it was not good at all and that I do not want to take birth control because last time I took it, I felt like I was slightly insane, I cried at the drop of a hat, I was restless, I could only sleep 3 hours max, I experienced racing thoughts, I become extremely angry, depressed, sad, I felt like hurting someone or myself, I blew up like a balloon, gained almost 30lbs and my body felt poisoned. The risks are extensive, I do not know what is in those pills/rings ect... and my body totally disagrees and rejects it.
She said 'some body's just does not work well with the pill.' We discussed the IUD called Mirena, it lasts for 5 years releases small amounts of hormone, can cause lighter periods and less cramping or I can use the old fashioned IUD lasts 10 years, has no medicine, which I prefer but then my periods will be heavier and worse cramps. Since I have not had a child, inserting the IUD is going to hurt quite a bit and when it comes to pain, my tolerance is pretty low.
Doesn't look like I have many real choices. I do not want to have children so I have to take responsibly for this point and direct it. I want to enjoy myself and explore self intimacy through sexual expression, but at what cost. For now I will stick with condoms. I am not opposed to having my tubes tied either but my Dr. strongly strongly urged I wait, but then again she was the same person who urged that I try the Nuva Ring and that it worked GREAT for her and also she said that she tried Mirena before she was pregnant and it worked great. I don't trust it
A friend gave me the name of a birth control that has worked well for her. I asked my doctor if I could try it and she said I can but with most birth controls it's about trial and error, and everyone's body is different. I get migraine headaches with aura, so that limits my options even more. In order to find the right pill my body has to go through hell and back. Why does it have to be so complicated. I still got a prescription for the one my friend suggested, just in case but I doubt I will use it. She said if you do decide to use your prescription, make sure to regularly check your blood pressure and call me if your blood pressure goes up or if you have any of these list of symptoms, so we can stop it immediately - that didn't sound encouraging. She said the downfall of this particular brand is I can have spotting in between periods. It just all sounds like a major hassle. And for my blood type birth control pills are in the (AVOID) section. So that was my experience.
I am grateful that I have access to healthcare and that I can see a doctor for regular check ups or if I become ill. Most of the time though doctors can only provide support that is topical and does not truly support the human physical body to heal a person. I am one of the few people in this world that is lucky enough to have a job that offers healthcare and the price I pay is still very high. Is healthcare truly effective the way it currently exists? I am not satisfied with the level of support we have tacitly agreed to with regards to healthcare and medicine. All including animals should have access to healthcare real healthCARE.
In an equal money system, profit won't be the driving force of healthcare and medicine and because of this things will be much different - we can find solutions that support our physical bodies within equality, simplicity and common sense. Let us stop supporting the fattening up of a few CEO's wallets, while the majority of people are either without healthcare, hooked on pharmacological drugs; that are priced outrageously, taking pills that do not heal but keep us stuck in cycles of illness ect., this is clearly not support. There are many points to consider with regards to healthcare but one thing I have realized is that what is happening now is NOT supportive to our body's - healthcare should be about real CARE doing what is best for ALL real care that supports the physical body and not a drug cartel dressed in white.
Let's Find a solution together and stop this non-sense we currently call 'healthcare'
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The Book - Equal Money System will Release September 2011 Subscribe to the book newsletter to receive a notification when it's available.
http://equalmoney.org/the-book a discussion with Bernard Poolman in the quest for universal equality for all life to have a world where all participants act in ways that is best for all life. The Equal Money system will be a first step in the political agenda of the Equal Life Party worldwide once we start participating in democratic elections. Join the Desteni Forum for discussions. Subscribe to be notified of publishment of the first Equal Money Book
http://equalmoney.org/the-book a discussion with Bernard Poolman in the quest for universal equality for all life to have a world where all participants act in ways that is best for all life. The Equal Money system will be a first step in the political agenda of the Equal Life Party worldwide once we start participating in democratic elections. Join the Desteni Forum for discussions. Subscribe to be notified of publishment of the first Equal Money Book
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