Ok, so I started using the Nuva Ring because I was "trying" to avoid the menstruation cycle/cramps/pms. I am not currently having sex at all so it is simply to eliminate the cycle. Boy oh boy was I in for a surprise. I have not been feeling like myself lately just empty and sad and sorta out of it all together I have been extremely irritated with everyone around me and I can not sleep at night at all? This is not cool and I realise that this damn bright idea was just that of the mind and it has caused me to be totally fogged and out there some where.

Not being able to see right and I have let myself get away from HERE as breath.
I realised that this Nuva Ring is not cool and I removed it today.

Interesting to see how quickly I felt like shit using this ring and it just so happens to fit into an interesting place on my body. :/
ugh. I have totally gotten away from myself and I feel guilty for doing this. I have been so sad and depressed, I read up on it some more today and apparently there are many other women who have suffered many ill side effects. So far I had it for about 2 weeks and until here no further even right now I feel a fog.

I continue applying SF
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to desire, want and need a quick fix to not have to go the menstruation/menstruehate and bloating and painful cramps and irritably

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to participate in thoughts, feelings and emotions

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to judge myself and feel guilt for using the nuva ring

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not have self control and desire to use a product to cure my apparent hate for menstruation

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to isolate myself from others because I have been feeling depressed
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to feel depressed
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to feel sad and sorry for myself
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to become very angry and snap at other beings within the work place
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed my mind to race so much that I can not sleep
I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to realise that I am not thoughts feelings or emotions
atm I do not feel so good my body is all weird I am in a fog
I will continue to speak SF and write SF
I direct I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to seperate myself from menstruation
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to separate myself from myself within and as my body

BODY

I have not been feeling so well lately, I have been getting a pain in my right toe as if I stubbed it really hard but I do not recall hitting it on anything, I keep getting these pains over my body like distinct pains on my right shoulder blade and my hands my right hand hurts, Today I have still had the toe pain but all of a sudden I felt nauseated and drained as if I can not see right like I am "off" or something I do not feel one within and as my body I feel separated, I have this awful hollow feeling about me lately. Like I can not see right or like my eyes are smugged. :/
I also feel dizzy, cold and sorta like I got water up my nose. Maybe I have a sinus infection or flu not sure but
It's not cool
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to be in separation with my body
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to feel sorry for myself for feeling pains in my body

My Self - FREE within and as ONENESS IN EQUALITY

I have not been on blogspot to blog for a while, I have been reading mad on the desteni forums for the past few days - there is an extensive amount of writings and common sense.
If you are reading this and you have not heard of Desteni
recommend this website it is http://www.desteni.co.za/ take a look at the writings it's cool.
All the communication within and as the portal within and as dimensional beings is insightful.
I am HERE to express my self, B suggests to write every day even if we have nothing to write. I find it cool to write and express my self HERE in self honesty. I realise that I have continued pushing on with process of self forgiveness, self honesty, self awareness, self movement, self corrective application, self expression, self clarity, self direction to be honest I was not sure I had it in me to move myself and be self responsible, I realise at this moment that it is not my self who doubts myself but the mind consciousness system of thoughts feelings emotions and memories, that is not who I am I direct the mind not the other way around. Everyone has been assisting including me moving myself as all as one as equal. :) Its a process moment by moment breath by breath so it is not overwhelming at all and the feeling of being overwhelming is of the mind and not who I am. Thoughts feelings, emotions, memories are a program to keep me enslaved and I no longer accept or allow myself to be enslaved.
I MOVE, I EXPRESS, I CLARIFY, I DIRECT.

I watched Marlen's tree of life interview today and I have noticed that every single thing I read on the forum and all the videos I am watching seem to directly pertain to my self "specifically" I see this as common sense as it's all as me HERE. I decided to note this as well since this is what I am currently experiencing this atm. Basically before I would watch them and read and see it for what it was words on a screen or an interview for someone experiencing "something" apparently separate from myself. Even the words I see as myself. Process is cool. takes determination and extensive self forgiveness but to experience myself as all as one as equal and really see myself as who I am, wow, not in my wildest "dreams "did I fathom that I could be honest with myself in such a way, to express myself and to open up to others as myself. Being HERE Breathing the four count breath is "priceless" I am grateful for everyone's assistance as myself and for winged and B to have actually taken a look at self honesty to look inside themselves for all as one as equal. Self movement. Ahhh
Before starting self forgiveness I was so scattered and pissed off and sad and overwhelmed and I would blame everyone as if they were outside of me separate from my self and not realise that is was me all along creating my reality in this existence. Self responsibility

I forgive myself that I haven't allowed myself to realise that I am the ‘inner workings' of the brain and I am not subject to the brain unless I accept and allow it within me.

Ok bye.