I have had this cold/flu and it has been going on for about a week or so, I was in bed most of last week coughing, sneezing, blowing my nose, my throat aches, my head aches. Everyone tells me to go to the dr. to get a perscription other wise it will get worse and I will not heal. I am applying SF and realised that sickness is here as assistance, not a burden. I am here as breath. I was somewhat going into self pity and whining about being sick but I realise that is assistance and applied SF accordingly. I went to the chiropractor on monday and they did muscle testing on me and the lady asked if I had a cold because with the muscle testing it shows that I have a virus, I said no I feel fine, the next day got the cold. So I am here breathing, reading, writing watching videos and apply SF as I am HERE.
today I am gonna ask the chiropractor what parts of the body exactly are "weak" to get an understanding of what my body as me is showing me.

A few days ago I hurt my back and neck on the left side, I have been going to the chiropractor and he said I have a sprain/strain.

I have been reading Veno's structural resonance documents and I still have more to read and watch on videos the last time I watched the videos was about 6 months ago and by reading the comments I wrote I was lets say allowing myself to be "blind" about the reality of what I was watching I "thought" I "knew" everything.
So rereading and re-watching now with a clearer understanding of who I am and not placing blame on someone or apparently waiting for "god" to supposedly save me from myself, I can see it for what it is 'assistance and support'
I have been having frustration with my mother and I find that when I speak with her it is almost as if I want to start a fight or something. I want her to say that I am right about being stubborn and not wanting to speak with certain family members because apparently they fucked me over, the last conversation I had with my mother I was just sorta irritated and frustrated like I wanted her to see my view and agree with me but she wouldn't and it pissed me off because I allowed it. I realise I want my mom to mother me and tell me its ok those people are fucked up and your not responsible and she didn't and it bugged me because I have not realised that I am responsible for how I have accepted and allowed myself to experience myself and with regards to the grudges I have on my family it is because of so much stuff i have not dealt with because of fear, fear of loss I suppose fear of seeing myself for who I am and what I have become, in holding on to this fear I have given my power away to it.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to give my power away to fear
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to give my power away to fear of loss
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to hid from the beings in my family I apparently have "beef" with
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to separate myself from certain beings because in self honesty I have not wanted to see and face myself as them as all as one in equal
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to find that the pain I feel is to much to bear or to look at
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to have pain in my body rather then look at these points and forgive them and direct myself within and as self honesty but rather manifest this pain and heavy feeling in my shoulders and neck and back in order to see I must face myself
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to feel sorry for myself for being hurt
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to want people to take care of me and tell me its gonna be ok
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to mother others when they are hurt of feeling sad and say its gonna be ok and apparently "comfort" them but I realise the comfort is not real and is self dishonest
I forgive myself that I have desired for someone to give me attention
I forgive myself that I have desired anything and see myself as lacking something
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to be in a frenzy and always have somewhere to go someone to see something to do to stay busy and not see myself
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to blame so many people for how I feel
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to be self abusive
I forgive myself that I have placed my responsibility on others
I forgive myself that I have not been self responsible for how I have accepted and allowed myself to experience myself
I forgive myself that I have feared looking at my childhood, memories are assistance and support to no longer experience myself as shame and regret
I am not shame or regret
I no longer accept or allow myself to experience myself as shame and regret
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to see my mother, father elders in my family as superior to myself and in turn participated in duality and polarity and considered myself as inferior to them and have not seen myself as them, its all as me here
I will be back I am gonna finish reading structural res and watch the vids on youtube again to see myself with more specificity with regards to this point/points.

SF - Menstration/Specialness

So the nuva ring is out and things within my body are no longer going bazerko, also I have not had trouble with sleep or racing thoughts. Whew, that sucked I decided to do SF on not wanting to get a period in the first place and I came to so many realizations about it after all. I was defining myself as less then men and inferior to men because of experiencing myself menstruating

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to feel sorry for myself rather then taking self responsibility and applying self forgiveness immediatly

I forgive myself that I have defined myself as a fuck up because I did not stand up

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to stay as the definition of shame and regret for using the nuva ring as an easy way out

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to stay in a state of "ugh" "I cant" instead of standing up as all as one as equal in every moment of breath

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to limit myself and perceive these thoughts of inferiority and victimization as real and are who I am

I forgive myself that I have not allowed myself to trust myself

I forgive myself that I have desired for an event or person to move me rather then me being within and as self movement

I forgive myself that I have not allowed myself to honor myself as all as one as equal every moment of breath

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not want to experience a period because then that defines me as less then because I am a women and I am not able to control it

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to desire to control my bodily functions

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to feel inferior to men for having to experience a period

I forgive myself that I have considered myself inferior to men because I have a period every month and they don't

I forgive myself that I have defined myself as a women

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to seperate myself from myself

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to feel sorry for all women who have to experience the pain of menstruation and child birth and men don't so they are apparently more lucky and dominate

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to define blood as dirty

I forgive myself that I have accepted the idea of periods being dirty because of what I learned about women being as filthy rags in the bible and to not even sleep in the same bed/room with a man when on a period because it is unclean

I forgive myself that I have defined myself as unclean during menstruation

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to define women as being punished for having to feel pain when menstruating and when giving child birth

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to define men as superior to women and that women are inferior to men because of menstruation and pain during child birth

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to participate in duality/polarity men/women superior/inferior

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to hate my body and its functions

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to feel insecure when on my period

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to be angry at men because they don't h ave to spend time and money on things like menstruation or child birth

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to feel anger towards men because if they experience having children they do not have to have stretch marks on their belly/legs or breasts and women do

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to define stretch marks on stomach/breasts/legs as ugly and unattractive

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to have feared the pain of child birth my entire life

I forgive myself that I never considered the pain a child must feel during birth

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to judge women who have children and are unable to take care of them as selfish and fucked up

I forgive my self that I have accepted and allowed myself to be jealous of men because I have defined their body's as easier to keep "in shape" and nicer because they don't have to get stretch marks and men can more easily find love and a relationship if they have a child and do not stay with the mother of the child because their body still looks like it did before a child was born

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to define myself according to relationships I have or don't have

I forgive myself that I have defined beings as less then other beings if they are unable to keep a marriage or relationship because apparently something must be wrong with them like bad at sex, or ugly, fat, or insecure, bad father, bad mother or irritating or less then beings in a relationship

I forgive myself that I did not realise that relationships that are formed with love as glue are an illusion and a way to further keep beings enslaved to the mcs

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to inherit this way of thinking from my mother because she always damned men for not having to deal with stretch marks

the mother matrix is something I realise I have but I do not understand how to deal with it and how to appropriately apply SF for it to release the system in me, here is something I found on the OF on the front page by VENO

http://desteni.co.za/Osho/veno23.htm


I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to beLIEve I could control feelings by using a vaginal insert

I forgive myself that I have wanted and needed to always be in control of myself my body and the beings around me to feel secure

I forgive myself that I have defined control as self trust

I forgive myself that I have defined myself as rebellious and out of control because if I am out of control that really means I am in control of my surroundings and situations because in my apparent belief in rebellion as control

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to boss others around to let them know that they can not fuck with me so do not even try it

I forgive myself that when I listen to people talk I just dont listen actually and I wait for them to be quiet so I can tell them why they are wrong and I am right

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to place value on my opinions only and everyone else is wrong and if they do not see it how I see it then they are fucked up

I forgive myself that I have caused this seperation

Thanks Leila for sharing the SF you wrote regarding Ego of Mind as Special I do that same shit and I stop

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to define who I am as greater then or much more special then anyone else

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to perceive that I am indeed special because many people have said that to me

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to percieve that I am way more insightful then most people

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to have beLIEved in religion that their would be 144,000 jews that would save the world from the devil and I am one of the called out assembly to help save the world

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to see others as inferior to me but just that they do'nt know it and its ok cuz I am a "nice" superior/special person so its cool

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to beLIEve that because I am under the birth sign aquarius that I am special and unique and their are only very few people that are as special as myself and that even then they still had a different kind of special so I am apparently super special over all

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to perceive this ego of specialness as myself

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to perceive that one day I will speak to a huge crowd of people and help to show them the truth of themselves

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to desire for beings to refer or call me special

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to wear certain clothes to stand out from a crowd so others would then see me as the apparent special person I have defined myself as

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to manipulate others to define me as special

I forgive myself that I had always looked for ways to wow and impress people to confirm just how special I am

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to desire to be the center of attention

I forgive myself that I have defined myself as the black sheep in my "family" so that people will again see and define me as special and set apart

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to define the way I dance as special

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to want to be the first person people call to hang out with because I have defined myself as cooler company then anyone else

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to want to be seen as super cool and smart

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to define the music I listen to as way better then what others listen to

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to define my taste in music and food and clothes and material items as way better then anyone else's

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear beings always want to fuck with me or hurt me so I must be in control so they won't see the fear I have

Ok, so I started using the Nuva Ring because I was "trying" to avoid the menstruation cycle/cramps/pms. I am not currently having sex at all so it is simply to eliminate the cycle. Boy oh boy was I in for a surprise. I have not been feeling like myself lately just empty and sad and sorta out of it all together I have been extremely irritated with everyone around me and I can not sleep at night at all? This is not cool and I realise that this damn bright idea was just that of the mind and it has caused me to be totally fogged and out there some where.

Not being able to see right and I have let myself get away from HERE as breath.
I realised that this Nuva Ring is not cool and I removed it today.

Interesting to see how quickly I felt like shit using this ring and it just so happens to fit into an interesting place on my body. :/
ugh. I have totally gotten away from myself and I feel guilty for doing this. I have been so sad and depressed, I read up on it some more today and apparently there are many other women who have suffered many ill side effects. So far I had it for about 2 weeks and until here no further even right now I feel a fog.

I continue applying SF
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to desire, want and need a quick fix to not have to go the menstruation/menstruehate and bloating and painful cramps and irritably

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to participate in thoughts, feelings and emotions

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to judge myself and feel guilt for using the nuva ring

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not have self control and desire to use a product to cure my apparent hate for menstruation

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to isolate myself from others because I have been feeling depressed
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to feel depressed
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to feel sad and sorry for myself
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to become very angry and snap at other beings within the work place
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed my mind to race so much that I can not sleep
I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to realise that I am not thoughts feelings or emotions
atm I do not feel so good my body is all weird I am in a fog
I will continue to speak SF and write SF
I direct I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to seperate myself from menstruation
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to separate myself from myself within and as my body

BODY

I have not been feeling so well lately, I have been getting a pain in my right toe as if I stubbed it really hard but I do not recall hitting it on anything, I keep getting these pains over my body like distinct pains on my right shoulder blade and my hands my right hand hurts, Today I have still had the toe pain but all of a sudden I felt nauseated and drained as if I can not see right like I am "off" or something I do not feel one within and as my body I feel separated, I have this awful hollow feeling about me lately. Like I can not see right or like my eyes are smugged. :/
I also feel dizzy, cold and sorta like I got water up my nose. Maybe I have a sinus infection or flu not sure but
It's not cool
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to be in separation with my body
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to feel sorry for myself for feeling pains in my body

My Self - FREE within and as ONENESS IN EQUALITY

I have not been on blogspot to blog for a while, I have been reading mad on the desteni forums for the past few days - there is an extensive amount of writings and common sense.
If you are reading this and you have not heard of Desteni
recommend this website it is http://www.desteni.co.za/ take a look at the writings it's cool.
All the communication within and as the portal within and as dimensional beings is insightful.
I am HERE to express my self, B suggests to write every day even if we have nothing to write. I find it cool to write and express my self HERE in self honesty. I realise that I have continued pushing on with process of self forgiveness, self honesty, self awareness, self movement, self corrective application, self expression, self clarity, self direction to be honest I was not sure I had it in me to move myself and be self responsible, I realise at this moment that it is not my self who doubts myself but the mind consciousness system of thoughts feelings emotions and memories, that is not who I am I direct the mind not the other way around. Everyone has been assisting including me moving myself as all as one as equal. :) Its a process moment by moment breath by breath so it is not overwhelming at all and the feeling of being overwhelming is of the mind and not who I am. Thoughts feelings, emotions, memories are a program to keep me enslaved and I no longer accept or allow myself to be enslaved.
I MOVE, I EXPRESS, I CLARIFY, I DIRECT.

I watched Marlen's tree of life interview today and I have noticed that every single thing I read on the forum and all the videos I am watching seem to directly pertain to my self "specifically" I see this as common sense as it's all as me HERE. I decided to note this as well since this is what I am currently experiencing this atm. Basically before I would watch them and read and see it for what it was words on a screen or an interview for someone experiencing "something" apparently separate from myself. Even the words I see as myself. Process is cool. takes determination and extensive self forgiveness but to experience myself as all as one as equal and really see myself as who I am, wow, not in my wildest "dreams "did I fathom that I could be honest with myself in such a way, to express myself and to open up to others as myself. Being HERE Breathing the four count breath is "priceless" I am grateful for everyone's assistance as myself and for winged and B to have actually taken a look at self honesty to look inside themselves for all as one as equal. Self movement. Ahhh
Before starting self forgiveness I was so scattered and pissed off and sad and overwhelmed and I would blame everyone as if they were outside of me separate from my self and not realise that is was me all along creating my reality in this existence. Self responsibility

I forgive myself that I haven't allowed myself to realise that I am the ‘inner workings' of the brain and I am not subject to the brain unless I accept and allow it within me.

Ok bye.

Self Forgiveness

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to hide from myself

I forgive myself that I have allowed myself to think and believe I am less than and inferior to thoughts, feelings and emotions

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to be ashamed of myself

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to be disgusted of myself and the choices I have made

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear doing something that I have never done before such as stand up as all as one as equal because I might fail

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that failure actually exists

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to beLIEve the mind is who I am

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear facing myself and the past and I forgive myself that I have allowed myself to have experienced myself as shame and regret

I am not past, I am not future, I no longer accept or allow the past or future to direct me - I am here, I direct me, I stand, I move self, I am the directive principle of myself

I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to realise that shame and regret is not who I am, but the mind consciousness system

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear the mind

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to separate myself from the mind

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to beLIEve that the mind has control over me and my actions

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to give my power away to the mind

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to blame the mind for what I have accepted and allowed, I see, I remain here as breath every moment

I MOVE - I DIRECT - I STAND - I AM HERE

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to use shame and a regret as an excuse for not standing up as who I am as all as one as equal every moment of breath

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to be shameful of having sex with more then one man

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to become exited and get a rush when having sex for the first time with a new partner

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to become addicted to the rush of having sex with a new partner

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to feel powerful for being able to have sex with any man I wanted to

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to abuse my body

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to feel "good" about myself when I had sex with someone new because that must have meant that I am pretty, sexy, good in bed, charming, clever, strong, creative and adored

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to play games with the minds of men and women to get what I want

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to manipulate others

I forgive myself that have accepted and allowed myself to masturbate to pictures in the mind

I forgive myself that I have not realised that by and through the "energy" of masturbation I have caused rape and molastation in this world

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to define myself according to the men I was with in my past

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to only feel secure in myself it a man is there to validate me by saying I am pretty, smart, funny, sweet, friendly, a good cook

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to be definable I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to to desire, want or need the affection of a man as a form of validation about who I am

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear standing up and exposing myself

forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to perceive that the ego of the mind is who I am and I have not control over it

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to wear certain clothing or make up to attract a "partner"

I forgive myself that I have not realised that by having a partner I am in separation with myself as all as one as equal

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to separate myself from the men I have dated in the past by considering that I lost them or they lost me which in turn shows that I was actually in seperation with them as myself

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to beLIEve that I can lose something or someone, or someone can lose me, I am here, I see - I am everything

I forgive myself for not realising that I am everything and that if I want to see a change in this world I must move myself as I am all things, I am this world and I apply self forgiveness as all as one as equal I diligent and I move, I breath, I stand, I direct, I clarify

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to have shame about sexual acts I have participated in

I forgive myself for not realising that by participating in these sexual acts that I have effected the world as me and feed the mcs

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to be a huge part of fucking up this world as myself

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to consider myself as a fuck up

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to date men that had a girlfriend to simply please myself

I forgive myself that I have not realised that by allowing and accepting myself to postpone self forgiveness that I have accepted and allowed myself to be powered and ruled by the mind consciousness system. I stand, I direct, I move me!

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear self honesty

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear myself and what I might find

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to only date men that are extremely
"handsome" and "well kept" and have job/money/status and are in control of themselves and their friends

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself that I have only dated men that are leaders, thus

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to give my power away to men so that I will not be the one to blame because I do not take responsibility for my actions but rather blame it on the person who is apparently "in control"

I forgive myself that I have allowed myself to believe that self control is dependent on a specific resource of the brain

I forgive myself that I have allowed myself to believe that self control can diminish
I forgive myself that I have allowed myself to believe that I am able to ‘temporarily' ‘lose' control

I forgive myself that I haven't allowed myself to realise that when I ‘lose control' and ‘give into' the impulsions of temptations – I have allowed myself to go ‘back into the mind' and that I as who I am was not here, aware, in and as the moment

I forgive myself that I have allowed myself to believe that I am able to ‘lose' anything even control

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to separate myself from self control

I forgive myself that I haven't accepted and allowed myself to accept myself as self control

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to beLIEve that I am able to fail at self control in the face of temptation

I forgive myself that I have allowed and accepted temptation to have power over me and power of me

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to use men as a tool to make my decisions for me rather then me moving self every moment as breath

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to want to be seen as someone that must be "together" "confident" "smart" "interesting" "lovable"

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to perceive that love is something that is separate from me

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to look everywhere other then within myself as love to find love

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to perceive that being in a relationship or marriage or having a child is what true love is

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to lie about how I am or what I have done in my past to other beings so I can be accepted by them

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to lie to myself about who I am and what I have accepted and allowed myself to do

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to perceive myself to be in completion with other women

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to perceive that if I do not have the "best" hair, make up, clothing, music, shoes, weed, sex, body, smile that I must lack something

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to participate in duality/polarity - Best/Worst, I am here, I see I forgive myself that I have allowed myself to be directed by the polarity equations of the mind as: strength and weakness and failure and success

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to judge my self forgiveness or judged that I have referred to the website as assistance in applying self forgiveness, thus I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear that the self forgiveness I have rewritten is invalid unless it comes directly from myself

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to beLIEve that I can lack abilities

I am source

I am here, as all as one as equal every moment of breath
I forgive myself that I have allowed myself to believe that in suppressing emotions and feelings: I am strong and I have courage

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to beLIEve that lack actually exists

I forgive myself that I haven't allowed myself to realise that lack and failure only exist of the mind – I do not accept and allow lack and failure – this is not who I am

I forgive myself that I have allowed myself to believe that I have limited resources to control myself

I forgive myself that I haven't allowed myself to realise that the limitation of resources only exist of the mind – I am infinitely stable and constant

I do not accept and allow limitation within me

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to beLIEve that I am subject to limitation

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to beLIEve that limitation actually exists

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to beLIEve that I am able to run out of resources

I forgive myself that I haven't allowed myself to realise that only the mind is able to run out of resources – life is the infinite expression of who I am within and as oneness and equality

I forgive myself that I haven't allowed myself to live and apply self control in every moment

I am my directive principle – not the brain

I am my directive principle – not the mind

I am sound

I am silence

I am here

Is the word coincidence a coincidence?

No not that either. None of this is a coincidence

Wow, somehow I am able to make another post here, the strangest thing happened on Desteni forum I was reading Adele's comment to Kim's SF and it said I started my blog here Alex, and then I clicked on it to see Adele's blog and it is mine not her's and I do not require a pw, I was attempting to log in for the last week or so but it kept saying my pw was invalid or something or my email was invalid who knows. but this is fucking cool :)
" a miracle" LOL! J/K

So thanks Adele, not sure how that happened but still cool. I suppose I have been signed in this entire time. Perhaps that's how come I was unable to sign in, LOL!

How interesting how these "coincidences" happen, that brings up a point I was realising about myself and coincidences, I used to say coincidence is not a "kosher" word. Well unfortunately it is not and until I realised that stopping the mind is the only way to stop this preordained predestined "life" I am supposedly "living"

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to be in total self deception and self dishonesty to the point of having a belief in a god that was apparently greater or outside of me somewhere looking down on me from heaven and watching my "every move" and creating certain situation's so that I can be closer to "him" through people and situations.

Is it a coincidence that beings refer to god as a him or a he, no not that either. I used to say well you know god is not a male or female but we refer to god as him because in the English language we just do that? Strange. But then again the messiah was "apparently" a man simply because in those times men/Rabbis were the only people that would be taken seriously enough with the "word of god"
WOW! Look at that all those things I did and said to myself and others as a system in a system to justify why the bible and the teachings of the bible are apparently true. It was all because I was looking outside of myself for myself.
I forgive myself that I haven't accepted and allowed myself to be self honest
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to require a being higher or greater then me to feel that I am here for a "apparent" purpose
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not realise myself as all as one as equal thus I forgive myself that I did not realise that purpose is a construct of the mind consciousness system in itself.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to create so many religions or beliefs in this world to stay in seperation of myself

now I have opened up a whole can of worms/dishonesty
even worms are not such a cool expression as they are an expression of death and death is also a construct and a design to keep us further enslaved.
I am here being here is here is here, here is not somewhere or overthere or a place or allocation of some type it is who I am I am here every moment as breath.
The breath ahhh, wow, breathing is so cool so is self forgivenss, what a very special realisation

Is the word coincidence a coincidence? No not that either. None of this is a coincidence

Today I have been reading other peoples SF as myself, and wow, I have realised so much and also I even realise now why Desteni members "misspell" realise I had an idea that it must be from the africaans language LOL!
Now it REAL IS e what real is. fantastic.