Thursday, February 17, 2011

Self Awareness

Ok - I am here the sound of the air conditioner in the background and the sound of my fingers hitting the keyboard keys, I have nothing to talk about in particular well, today I read around in the website articles and man they are fascinating and interesting and many times when I read the articles I see the same within me and it is recognizable as if it is me that actually experienced the event or events because it is so similar or I have experienced the same in a different manifestation, we are all the same and equal to what we accept and allow and we do not realise our oneness and how our life's are all pretty much the same, different pictures, thoughts, feelings, emotions, judgments, opinions, ideas, beliefs, knowledge, information, some more extensive then others, some beings exist on one side of the polarity and some on the other and some seem to exist as both synonymously but most of all just about no one is ever here bringing all parts of self here as breath as all as one as equal. I experience shame and regret for my forgetfulness as spite and spiting another as forgetfulness with no regard at all for what others may experience because of my careless irresponsible so called 'human nature' I hear that word often when I talk openly about an equal monetary system. I hear "Oh Deedra please, that will not work it just won't work because it goes against human nature - Really? What is human nature anyway? - human and nature look as though they are oxymoron's because as humans we usually destroy nature and what is here as nature as ourselves as our human physical bodies what is here as this physical existence all are in, well most don't thats the point most do not experience nature and are too busy with the hustle and bustle of every day survival to experience the physical always in the mind thinking, plotting, planning, scamming, scheming, searching for new ways to get rich quick -never considering our neighbors just moving quickly, thinking quickly, reacting quickly, trying to have a quick wit to seem as though more intelligent or more evolved then the next, but in this we miss the point, we miss what is here, we miss ourselves, we miss life and we neglect ourselves as life we neglect what is here in and as this physical reality and sometimes we even just want to exist in the mind as thoughts, finding ways to move on to another dimension or so called heaven or even hell and some want to be enlightened and others seek death as if it will give them life some want to become martyrs and others priests but still in all this we miss something so important what is here within and as the physical our own human physical bodies and this is in part why we when I bring up equality and oneness and equal money I hear but, but, it's not our nature it's not human nature to consider another and that is the 'excuse' I hear most often - because of human nature equal money will never work. and my response is, No that is not true, I will not accept or allow this any longer, I am a human being in this human physical body and so are you and I know that we require to stand up for and as life and to do whatever it takes to create a new monetary system so that abuse can and will be avoided so that people and animals won't have to endure suffering for no reason other then we couldn't come up with an agreement that is best for all, because we keep on giving ourselves the excuse that its 'human nature' I am a human and my nature is here as me within and as the physical within and as breath as all as one as equal as life and my nature and will is to do what is best for all that is here as one with me - this is an excuse beings tend to say to accept limitation and to allow what is here when they arrived as the way things are and the way they will always be but I just do not agree if one has a look around one will see clearly that what we are busy co-creating is a mess and NOTHING and NO ONE will stop this for us, we must stand up and stop ourselves from creating a place that is brutal, abusive, angry, shameful, toxic, a place beings want to flee from to such an extent they can not even consider another and just keep their heads in a book or books or try to meditate and sit on a pillow imagining they are not here with people who are starving, people who are in physical pain, plants being killed, animals that are abused so extensively, people can not even bear to watch when videos are shown to them exposing the abuse that exists in this world people say turn that OFF or turn away I CAN NOT watch THAT! Turn that off your sick for looking at that well guess what THAT is what we are and have accepted and allowed THAT is what we need to see and man there are only a few times in most peoples lives that are reading this when they actually see the brutal nature of man in effect but it happens everyday right now as I write this blog, extensive pain is being felt and I am not referring to emotions or feelings I am referring to physical pain, people are loosing it and are becoming full on demonic. When will we stop? When will we change? What has to take place in order for beings to get the message that NO ONE is coming on a cloud NO ONE is waiting for us somewhere out there no one is looking out for us, NO ONE is accountable for beings. There is NO GOD there is NO GOD we fucked ourselves on our own we have limited ourselves so extensively can you even fucking believe it? This realisation does not require a belief system or a story this requires simply looking outside and seeing the condition of the earth the sky the air hearing the screams and moans of children and adults hearing the squeal of animals in pain because of our brutality and our disregard and our so called dominion over animals we have dominated animals and not taken care of them as one with ourselves we have not taken care of nature and we have not supported nature or animals we have not given a flying fuck about anything or anyone but ourselves we only give a fuck about ourselves and now we have this mess to face and we HAVE to fix it because it is simply the responsibly of each and every single one of "us". Before I found Desteni and heard the beings coming through the portal I was devastated because I realized prior to finding Desteni that their just might not be a god but I was not devastated because I was not being self responsible and I was causing abuse I was devastated because I believed a lie and I manipulated myself into believing it and I was the lie but I still did not give a fuck about another I was still stuck in this mind bubble that I believed was me was real and was valid but I was still shattered and befuddled because I had nothing to hold onto nothing was stable I was not stable and my beliefs could not stablize me because they crumbled at my feet, I had defined myself by my beliefs and now that I had no more to believe in I thought to myself I may as well die after all I thought I was useless and meaningless but after finding Desteni I realized that I was the one I had been looking for all my life, I was searching and searching as if my baby was lost within a huge amusement park, I searched high I searched low I searched love, I searched light, I searched mysticism, I searched strangers, I searched money, I searched men, I searched and I searched and I searched and I searched my entire existence was one long timelooped search and after all of that I realised I am here - OMG I am fucking here. I am the one I have been searching for and the shame and regret I experienced was immense and the fear I experienced was as well because I realised now that not only was i 'hurting' myself but my self dishonesty was hurting others my abuse toward myself was also creating an outflow of abuse and pain and even agony in this world, rape, violence, war, hunger, starvation, eating disorders, animal cruelty, blindness, deafness, Man.. I disregarded myself all along, I disregarded myself and all along I had people with me in agreement with me that my belief systems were real because they so much wanted to know as did I that there was some just reason why all the shit that manifests in this world happens for some 'unknown' reason beyond us. WOW! I can not believe I did this and the regret I had and still have is immense but with the tools that are available at Desteni I have supported myself and have forgiven myself and continue to take responsiblity for what I have accepted and allowed and self honesty is something else Desteni suggests SELF HONESTY no one else's honesty no morality no rules - simply breathing, writing, self forgiveness, self honesty and self corrective action to stop and change and no longer exist as a program walking a preprogrammed "life path" no longer accepting or allowing myself to be asleep no longer accepting or allowing the idea that someone died for my sins because it is my responsibility to do what is best for all - I am here - I am a self willed equal join us at Desteni and wake up before it is too late find out how to stop - It is time to pop a bubble.

Bubbles & The Theory of Everything PART I

Introduction to Desteni part 1 - DesteniProductions - Annotations added Dec 2010

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